ceryneian-hind:

ONE SWING TO RULE THEM ALL.

(Source: imortalmax, via witchpieceoftoast)

arkhamsiren:

albinwonderland:

I’m really mad so lemme just put this psa out into the world

DO YOU SEE THIS MASCARA? THIS MASCARA IS CALLED MAYBELLINE THE ROCKET VOLUME EXPRESS

I WENT TO GO BUY MASCARA THE OTHER DAY AND THIS SHIT WAS ONE DOLLAR CHEAPER THAN MY USUAL MASCARA (rimmel sexy curves) SO I BOUGHT IT (because I’m a fool of a took) AND I COULD WRITE SONNETS ABOUT THE WAYS IN WHICH IT IS TERRIBLE

THE BRISTLES ARE ODDLY SHORT AND DON’T CATCH YOUR LASHES PROPERLY EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE RUBBER OR PLASTIC OR SOME PINE NEEDLE SHIT

IT CLUMPED ALL OF MY EYELASHES IMMIDIATELY UPON IMPACT AND THEY WOULDN’T SEPARATE EVEN WHEN USING AN EYELASH COMB 

IT WOULD NOT COME OFF. AND NO IT IS NOT THE WATERPROOF KIND BECAUSE I CHECKED FOR THAT BEFORE AND AFTER BUYING IT. I USED MAKEUP REMOVER TWICE, CLEANSED MY FACE WITH THE STRENGTH OF GASTON, TONED LIKE OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN IN THE 80’S, AND STILL HAD OPAQUE BLACK STREAKS DOWN MY FACE. 

YOU KNOW HOW YOU BUY MASCARA AND YOU’RE SO EXCITED TO USE IT AND THEN THE FIRST TIME YOU DO IT’S LIKE THE HEAVENS OPEN UP AND LITTLE CHERUBS FLOAT DOWN FROM PEARLESCENT CLOUDS AND KISS YOUR EYELASHES GENTLY AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING AND THAT BEYONCE HERSELF HAS NODDED AT YOU AND WHISPERED “FIERCE” 

USING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME WAS MORE LIKE POOPING IN A PUBLIC TOILET

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO HORRENDOUS I WOULD GIVE IT ELEVEN MILLION STARS

IM MAD!!!

this is the best review of any product ever

(via brooke-wyndham)